My Dining Room, A Gift to Myself.
Today was the first day that the house has been silent in weeks. My husband was off at a sleep study, the 3 oldest beastlings were off at school, the youngest keeps herself busy with writing, coloring, singing, dancing and the computer. It took a while for me to wake from my stupor. To stretch my legs, and move around. It took a while for me to start to reclaim my space and to realize how much crap has taken it over.
Every home has places that clutter gathers. Every home has its little corner of shame. MY home, with 4 kids, a Saint Bernard, a big man and myself has many surfaces that tend to be taken over. But there are places that are usually sacred “momma’s spot” places, and they were gone today. So, rather than reclaiming my usual spots, I decided its time to reclaim my home. One room at a time, this place will be mine damn it!
My dining room is always the place where everything gets tossed. Kids walk in the door and book bags go to the dining room table. Mother in law comes over, pocket book, bags, what ever she brings for the kids… dinging room table. Art projects.. dining room table. Mail, dining room table (sometimes). Currently there are 4 very large boxes of medical supplies in the doorway of the dining room, stacked two high and two wide. Each the height of the oldest child. Its ridiculous. Granted, the garage is chock full of similar boxes with the same products, and they are heavy and I am the only one in the house who can carry them at the moment. So, yeah its my fault they’re there. But I digress. The dining room, has always been abused and it is in need of some love and attention. I know that if I love it, it will love me back. So, today I started with clearing the clutter off of the table, and sweeping the dust from beneath it. I placed a new table cloth on the table and threw away a bunch of stuff that needed to be tossed away. Tomorrow I will make room in the garage for the supplies (I need to marry some boxes), and carry on with the task at hand. From there my work will carry over to the kitchen and the clutter there!
Room by room, bit by bit… this house will become what I want it to be!
I have my timer, I have my music, I have my swiffer, my vinegar, my paper towels, newspaper (best thing to ever clean your windows with is black and white news paper!), garbage bag, donate bag (OHHH American Kidney foundation, I haz some clothes for you!!!) NOW, if somebody has a magic wand that will make finger prints vanish from my walls, I will be forever grateful to you.
I’m on my way…
I went home part II
So, I headed off to Long Island and arrived at my friend Christina’s home by late morning.
Christina is my best friend, my soul sister. We have a bond like none other in my life. Christina and her husband Huge are incredible friends and their children are adored by me, as if they were my own. I know each one’s personality as well as I know my own kid’s personalities. Best yet is that their kids and my kids fall with in years, months, weeks of each other age wise. They fit like a puzzle, never a missing link.
Walking into Chris & Hugh’s yard was like coming home in and of itself. Filled with ghosts of babies crawling, boys peeing in the yard, potty training, barbecues, beer, good times.
I stole away a bit of time here and there. I drove by my family home, down the block I played on, around the block to check out the park, the Matthew’s house and wondered if the yards were still connected like they were when we were kids. I never had to walk around the block. Loving neighbors had a gate between yards, to keep us lil people safe & in view.
We spent time with my brother Brian, my nephew John, and sister in law Tracy. Sometimes you take for granted that family is family & they will always be there. We have not seen nearly enough of them over the years, and I didn’t know how much I
Missed them till I was there.
My kids were water rats, I wore a bathing suit and was water logged myself. I soaked up the fact that Brian is a one man show who can entertain 7 children with out trying. I also can’t thank him enough for having my clan and Christina’s clan, so I was able to enjoy the best of both worlds.
I drove through Lindenhurst and Wellwoid ave broke my heart. Where is Carvel? The flower Shop? How is Friendly’s a friggin 7-11? Where is my town? My tween years were spent there. My first job, first crush, and the sense if freedom I had by merely being permitted to walk there to meet up with friends.
Amazingly, a trip to NY did not awaken my sense of food nostalgia. Well, other than Linzer Tarts. I really didn’t do the food tours that most former NYers do when they go home. No bagels for me (but for the kids) Brian got them pizza too. No deli heros, no Italian pastries, I even avoided the Italian butcher. No Chinese, no Zorns, no zeppolis.
Crazy right? But, this is a non scale victory. Before surgery I would have binged for a week straight.
The ghosts of my childhood, my teens, my early parenting years are all around Long Island. I was homesick for this place that will always be my home.
Packing up my babies and heading back to Georgia was physically painful. My heart broke. I miss my people. Christina and I belong close by. It’s a strong connection and it’s resilient, but 900 miles may as well be different continents. I miss my brother, my family. I even got to see my cousin Jamie and her beautiful boy Hudson. Jamie and I were polar opposite as kids. She out going and independent, me a momma’s girl. Now, we’re two strong headed, crazy momma’s ourselves & my kids are thrilled to know that there are more cousins to meet.
Next year we’ll tackle this trip earlier. We will make time for the beach, for a meeting with Scheiner Family, & hopefully the hubby will come along to spend some man time with Hugh & Brian.
My NY peeps, I love you. I’m sorry if I missed you. I was ghost hunting, finding pieces of myself in memories long gone.
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