My Dining Room, A Gift to Myself.
Today was the first day that the house has been silent in weeks. My husband was off at a sleep study, the 3 oldest beastlings were off at school, the youngest keeps herself busy with writing, coloring, singing, dancing and the computer. It took a while for me to wake from my stupor. To stretch my legs, and move around. It took a while for me to start to reclaim my space and to realize how much crap has taken it over.
Every home has places that clutter gathers. Every home has its little corner of shame. MY home, with 4 kids, a Saint Bernard, a big man and myself has many surfaces that tend to be taken over. But there are places that are usually sacred “momma’s spot” places, and they were gone today. So, rather than reclaiming my usual spots, I decided its time to reclaim my home. One room at a time, this place will be mine damn it!
My dining room is always the place where everything gets tossed. Kids walk in the door and book bags go to the dining room table. Mother in law comes over, pocket book, bags, what ever she brings for the kids… dinging room table. Art projects.. dining room table. Mail, dining room table (sometimes). Currently there are 4 very large boxes of medical supplies in the doorway of the dining room, stacked two high and two wide. Each the height of the oldest child. Its ridiculous. Granted, the garage is chock full of similar boxes with the same products, and they are heavy and I am the only one in the house who can carry them at the moment. So, yeah its my fault they’re there. But I digress. The dining room, has always been abused and it is in need of some love and attention. I know that if I love it, it will love me back. So, today I started with clearing the clutter off of the table, and sweeping the dust from beneath it. I placed a new table cloth on the table and threw away a bunch of stuff that needed to be tossed away. Tomorrow I will make room in the garage for the supplies (I need to marry some boxes), and carry on with the task at hand. From there my work will carry over to the kitchen and the clutter there!
Room by room, bit by bit… this house will become what I want it to be!
I have my timer, I have my music, I have my swiffer, my vinegar, my paper towels, newspaper (best thing to ever clean your windows with is black and white news paper!), garbage bag, donate bag (OHHH American Kidney foundation, I haz some clothes for you!!!) NOW, if somebody has a magic wand that will make finger prints vanish from my walls, I will be forever grateful to you.
I’m on my way…
The end of a week of SLACKING!
If there is a book about how to be a good wife, a motivated mother, Susie freaking sunshine… I may need to read it. Because frankly, this past week… I have not been any of the above!
So much so, that I didn’t even take Ruby out for our hike this weekend. She was very content to slack with me though.
So, once again, I fess up to bad behavior. And once again, I tell myself that tomorrow is a new day. I will get up, I will move, I will not make excuses.
Tomorrow is nearly here, so I had better get some sleep. I will be accountable this week. I will check in with those who keep me on my feet, I will look at myself in the mirror, face the reality and buck up!
This past week has been chock full o’ drama! What drama you ask? Hubby with no work because things are slow, kid with scarlet fever… which, for the record is not the plague or a death sentence, a lightning bolt smacking into my air conditioner unit, children up all night because of said bolt, which my husband didn’t believe actually hit anything, A/C unit going electrically defunked, seizing up and the upstairs soaring to a high in the mid 80′s (I have a child who doesn’t sweat, this is very bad.), hot flashes, spousal arguments, and the saving grace of a friend who owns North and South Mechanical… who rigged the unit for the time being. I got to claim my very first home owners insurance claim, and now we wait to see what happens next. There has been a lot of time spent with book in hand, head in pillow, and fingers in ears. I saw my doctor and got diagnosed with migraines, ended a week long migraine, and still found 100 excuses to not do a damn thing! It ends tonight.
Tomorrow… yep…. that’s when I will put my best foot forward.
Tonight I’m going to bed, thankful that my house didn’t burn down, none of my children were hospital bound, heat stroke didn’t happen, my dog loves me no matter what, my husband loves me despite it all, only ONE of my children spewed out “I HATE YOU”, and maybe, just maybe I can still make it to NY by next weekend.
Migraines… they’re what I’ve got.
After a week of seriously screwy brain pain, my husband urged me to get my ass into the doctor. Knowing that I have seen her about headaches in the past, and her suggesting I see a neurologist…. I made an appointment with a neuro first, then went to see her.
“Tell me about your symptoms….” she said. I rattled off… dizziness, light sensitivity, nausea, insane head pain, worse when I bend down. Did I mention that I’m on day six of this? Oh, yeah, and uh.. I passed out in the shower once and I keep falling because my balance sucks. When the pain lets up and is more tolerable, there is ridiculous ringing in my ears, and on occasion, when I walk outside, I get spots in my vision.
Now, I admit, when writing it all out and admitting it out loud… I was an idiot to not go to the doctor before. My doctor, God love her for dealing with my entire family as often as she does, was unamused at best.
I am scheduled for an MRI next week. The week after I see the neurologist. My doctor gave me a beautiful gift in the form of a prescription for Imitrex and I took it at bed last night. I was afraid to sit upright this morning, for fear that the heavy head sensation would greet me as it has every morning for the past week, but alas, I sat up and my head didn’t feel like a bowling ball encased in skull. HOORAY! 
This past week I have been a slug. I mean, really, beyond doing the hike on Saturday with the hubby and Ruby, which was pretty low key, low impact, slow moving…. I have NOT done a whole lot of moving. I have been quite content hanging low at home. A few days I didn’t get out of my PJ’s. My husband made remarks about “who is that woman? Is my old wife back? My new wife wouldn’t be caught dead with PJ’s on and no make up. Are you OKAY?” Uh, yeah… not so okay, but still not excuse enough to slip back to old ways.
I see how easy it is to fall back into habits. Its much easier to get out of bed and transplant myself from bed to sofa. Head in a pillow, letting the kids run a muck. Its easy to ignore the things that need to be done around here, especially when I know my husband will pick up my slack with out saying a word. Its easy to say “it’s too hot outside to go out” and its too easy to say “my head is killing me and so I won’t move because I don’t feel like it.” Even when the headache was a dull roar with ringing ears, I just laid around. BLAHH!
So today I hold myself accountable for the past week of excuses, and now that the pain in the brain is gone I have NO excuses. I’m going to get the kids out and pick some blackberries, then I’m going to catch up on housework. When the man comes home, I will see where the exercise will happen, dependent upon time, heat index, and weather I will either be down by the lake or up on the elliptical. Today the excuses end.
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