I’ve renewed my website for another 5 years.
I sat on it and sat on it, wondering if I wanted to renew. I had neglected the blog for a while now, because I didn’t have a whole lot that I wanted to share. Life had become a series of chaotic events, as life often does, ya know? We’ve all heard it a million times by now, ‘Look around, WLS bloggers come and go.’ and I had to decide if I was going to be one of them. Frankly I don’t know how people make their whole persona revolve around WLS, because for ME, as time has gone on, my WLS has faded to the background of what has become normal.
There it is again. THAT word. NORMAL. WHAT IS NORMAL????
Well, for me normal is being a mom, a wife, managing a household and 4 kids in school. Normal is knowing that I can go out with my friends and have a bite to eat, and knowing exactly what I can and can not eat if I want to have an enjoyable time. Now, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t items on that menu that scream my name, that I don’t stare out longingly. But I don’t order them, because they make me feel crappy and if I’m out for a fun night, crappy isn’t in my plans.
My life doesn’t revolve around how my surgery impacts my life, because my life has adjusted to my surgery. My habits have changed, but I still struggle with old habits. I’m human. And so, I’ve kept my website, because the fact of the matter is that WLS bloggers come and go because life after WLS for many, eventually hits some sort of a normal stride. We set small goals, try to maintain good habits, and hopefully keep the good things in our lives intact.
So here I am. Still a married mom of 4. All of whom are in school, and I’m alone at home for the first time in 10 years. I’m struggling with THAT! I joined the PTA! I went to my little one’s preschool at nap time and snuggled in with her for a few minutes hoping the other kids didn’t see. At 4, they don’t care if they do see. They think I rock. LOL. I’m pathetic.
I had some regain, I struggled to get the scale moving down again. I won. Its moving on a steady basis. I went blond. I feel great, and sexy! While there is nothing quiet about my life in reality, I am beyond happy with the quiet in my virtual life. I’ve realized that I don’t have to be wearing a slogan to be a supportive person. I know who I am and those who know me, know what they can expect of me. The ties that bind are tighter than ever.
I’m a lucky woman. I have friends, family and community. I have health and a chance to live the life I wished I could live just 3 years ago. My youngest child doesn’t remember me being morbidly obese. My older children hear the comments about how great mom looks, and ask to see pictures of before. Then say OH YEAH… I remember that.
Life is always a series of ups and downs. There is never one straight path of glory. But when you hit those strides, they are worth every ounce of pain it took to get there. And looking back at the times you thought would kill you, it seems now as though it were only a blip on the screen.